20th Century Falls to Monks and Mystics

Paris--20th century fans probably didn't think it could get much
worse after standout forward Sigmund Freud suffered a
dislocated left shoulder just minutes into the game as he
tried to block a high-flying dunk from Maximus the Confessor,
but it was only a sign of things to come.

When all was said and done the Byzantine mystic shook free for
31 points, Alcuin of York added a career-high 14 assists and
the 7th/8th Century combined team defeated the heavily favored
20th 75-72.

"We allowed them to shape the discourse of power from the
start," said Michel Foucault, who finished with a team-high 16
points before fouling out in the last minute.

But it was really their inability to defend Maximus that cost
the 20th century the game. The Greek theologian, who came in
averaging 14.5 points a contest, looked unstoppable for
stretches as he exposed the 20th century defense with a series
of electrifying plays around the rim.

"Some of the stuff he did tonight--man, I've only seen it in
practice," said Beatus of Liebana, who scored 7 points off the
bench for the 7th/8th century. "You can tell he's the kind of
guy who's always looking heavenward, not down to earth."

The 7th/8th century came out on fire, opening the game with a
12-2 run, although the lead was down to 33-30 at the half.
The 20th century responded with a 9-0 run to open the second
half, capped off by a transition three from Karl Barth. But
the underdogs battled back, although they were unable to take
the lead until John Damascene hit his only three of the game
to make the score 73-70 in their favor with 1:05 remaining.

T.S. Eliot had a chance to tie the game for the 20th at the
buzzer, but his long three rimmed out. "I began the game with
the same kind of a miss," he said dejectedly afterward.
"March can be a cruel month."

"I told everyone before the game that this was our time in the
light, and afterward, we would either be going back into the
cold and the darkness, or we would stick around," said the
Venerable Bede, who finished with 13 points and 10 rebounds
for the victors. "I guess the guys took that to heart!"

Ludwig Wittgenstein, who finished with 6 points and an
uncharacteristic 7 turnovers, often looked perplexed in the
course of the game and afterward passed over reporters'
questions in silence.

Players of the Game
7th-8th Centuries: Maximus Confessor 31 points, 5 rebounds
20th Century: Michel Foucault, 16 points, 7 rebounds, 5 assists