5th Century AD Overcomes Deficit, Beats 3rd BC

London—Victory was sweet for the 5th Century AD as they roared back from a 17-point deficit to stun the 3rd Century BC 61-52.

“There are no words for a win like this,” said Dionysius the Areopagite, who finished with a game-high 18 points, 16 of them in the second half.

Coach Hannibal’s team jumped on their opponents early and dominated the first half, going into the break up 31-21. Early in the second half the lead had grown to a seventeen point advantage, 40-23, and a 5 over 4 upset seemed all but accomplished. Yet instead of continuing the aggressive play that had built the lead in the first place, Hannibal had his team play conservatively, as though they expected the 5th Century to capitulate.

It was then that the team of theologians began their remarkable comeback. St. Patrick hit a long three as the shot-clock expired, his only field goal attempt of the game, and Pseudo-Dionysius followed it up with a steal on the other end which led to an emphatic breakaway dunk.

After being outscored 40-23 in the first 24 minutes of the game, the 5th Century totally dominated the final 16 minutes, outscoring their opponents 38-12.

Augustine, who nearly recorded a triple-double with 17 points, 14 boards, and 7 assists, credited the dramatic comeback to a change in perspective: “We really played two different games shaped by two different loves: the first was founded on love of self, the second on love of teammate.”

The comeback was also founded on the 5th Century’s aggressiveness around the basket, which their opponents could not match. In fact, 3rd Century forward Epicurus could have taken a charge from drives by Augustine and Dionysius several times, but elected instead to step out of their way.

“I think he probably could have shown a little fortitude,” said reserve forward Chrysippus. “The good player is unmoved by pain.”

Attempts to slow the 5th Century run were further hampered by the generally languid play of Theocritus and a number of long threes attempted by Apollonius Rhodius, many of which led to fast breaks on the other end.

“A long shot is a bad shot,” said 3rd Century point guard Callimachus.

Players of the Game
5th Century AD: Augustine 17 points, 14 rebounds, 7 assists
3rd Century BC: Zeno 15 points, 10 rebounds