17th Century Too Much for Cinderellas

Paris--After the unexpected victory of the 7th-8th century team over the 20th century in the first round, many fans have jumped on the Cinderella bandwagon. Yet, despite the athleticism of Maximus the Confessor, the 17th century, led by the play of Rene Descartes and Thomas Hobbes down low, proved too much for them, winning comfortably 97-62.

The 17th Century started off with an 8 to 2 run in the first 3 minutes of the game, as point guard William Shakespeare fed Hobbes for two alley-oops over the undersized monastic frontcourt.

Descartes then began to systematically dismantle the defense of Isidore, making bank shot after bank shot.

“I felt within myself that I just could not miss” Descartes was quoted as saying afterwards.

It was not a highlight reel performance by The Cogito, but he finished with 22 points on 8 of 12 shooting from the floor and 6 of 6 from the line.

After the 7th-8th Centuries started the second half with a brief run led by the Confessor which cut the lead down to 50 to 45, the seventeenth century adjusted their game, finding Milton and bench player Jean Racine on the perimeter for wide open three-pointers. From this point on, the 17th century never looked back.

“It was one of those games where I felt wholly caught up in the moment. I just simply could not avert my gaze from the performances on the floor,” Pascal said.

The combination of superior talent and athletic ability which made them a #1 seed was amply displayed by Louis XIV’s team. The Monarch afterward commended his players: “The natural order of this game demands that we utterly crush all those who pretend that they have any right to our divinely ordained place as champions of this tournament.”

This boast may certainly prove correct if the 17th century continues to play the well rounded game they exhibited today.

Players of the Game
17th century AD: Descartes - 22 points, 12 rebounds, 2 blocked shots.
7th-8th centuries AD: Maximus the Confessor – 15 points, 6 rebounds.