Shakespeare Seals the Deal in Double OT Against 1st Century

Rome--The opening game of the Final Four was an instant classic. In an epic, two-overtime thriller, the 17th century AD defeated the 1st Century BC 90-88 on the strength of an incredible finish by William Shakespeare.

With the 1st Century on the cusp of pulling away, up 59-50 with 8 minutes to play, the Sweet Swan of Avon took flight with an incredible run of scoring, putting up 14 of his team’s last 17 points in regulation, 9 of their 12 in the first overtime, and a game-winning three in the second. In all, he finished 32 points and 28 of his team’s last 40.

“I just thought from this time forth my thoughts be victory or be nothing worth,” he said.

The Romans tried various defenders on the Bard, but no one seemed to be able to stop him from getting the shots he wanted.

“I couldn’t keep him in front of me,” said a frustrated Horace after the game. “No way would I have let him go off like that when Plancus was consul.”

The entire game was a back and forth affair, with fifteen lead changes in total. Milton started out strong for the 17th century, matched seemingly point for point by Ovid. After that initial spurt, the game was more marked by the play of Descartes and Cicero down low. The 1st century led 40-35 at the break and came out strong in the second half until Shakespeare caught fire.

The 1st Century appeared dazed as Shakespeare opened the first overtime with back to back threes. But the Romans fought back valiantly and had a shot at tying the game after Jean Racine went 1-2 from line to put the 17th Century up 79-76 with 21 seconds remaining. Vergil then went hard to the hoop before kicking out an incredible bounce-pass through traffic to Lucretius, who sank a three from the corner as time expired.

In the second overtime, with some fatigue obviously beginning to set in, the Romans went back to Cicero down low and Shakespeare took advantage of traps and double teams to spread the ball around, with Pascal and Milton making some key jump-shots to keep the two teams neck and neck. The entire game came down to one play. Taking possession with only ten seconds left and the 1st Century holding an 88-87 lead, the 17th century put the ball back in the hands of Shakespeare, who came off a screen with .5 seconds left and drained a fade away three with both Vergil and Lucretius in his face.

“He was the hero of our team in this contest, and I had to let him gain the glory of victory,” said coach Louis XIV.

“It will be pleasant to sit back and watch the Championship, having no part in the contest,” said Lucretius after the game. “But sweeter still to look down from the fortress of wisdom on all the players who vainly struggle to attain great honors.”

In the first half Ovid was seen blowing kisses to someone in the crowd after a breakaway dunk, and was immediately pulled from the game by Augustus, who was visibly angry. Ovid did not play the rest of the half, and did not come out with the team after halftime.

“A song and a mistake,” was all the explanation the poet offered after the game.

Players of the game
17th century: William Shakespeare 32 points, 5 assists
1st century: Vergil – 17 points, 8 assists, 3 steals.