Virgil, 1st BC Get the Win in Epic Battle

What was billed as a showdown of the two greatest poets of the Western canon turned out to be anything but as Virgil struggled to get into the offense and Homer, although he led all scorers with 32 points, probably sank his team by the sheer volume of his shooting; he ended the game 12-37 from the field. The 1st Century BC prevailed in a fast-paced shootout 101-89.

“I’d rather be a walk-on for a team that’s still alive than be the captain and watch at home,” said the Hellenistic Conference Player of the Year.

For all the offensive talent Archaic Greece brought to the table it was the depth and versatility of their Roman opponents which carried the day as Cicero and the historians had their way with the overmatched Greek interior.

“They were just always moving,” said Heraclitus.

Livy especially took advantage of defensive mismatches, going off for 20 points, most of them from the foul line where he was 14-15 despite his quirky stroke.

“We like to kid him a bit about that little Paduanism in his shot,” said Sallust, who had 18 in the game. “But hey, it goes in.”

Many among the Greeks felt they didn’t play their best. Sappho, who finished with 9 points, well below her tournament average, admitted to being distracted at points during the game.

“There was a beautiful young woman up in the second row,” said the lyric poetess, “and the guy next to her was just sitting there calm as can be, chatting about the game. He must have been some sort of god sitting next to her! Then I realize Solon’s made his free-throws and I’ve got to get back on D. I’m pretty sure I got beat on that play; I don’t really remember.”

The Romans, on the other hand, played with a definite focus and a bit of a chip on their shoulder.

“There’d been some talk I couldn’t take Alcaeus for a full game,” said Horace, who finished with 14 points and 11 assists. “So when he came in I said to him ‘you see how the snow stands splendid and white on Mount Soracte? That’s how cold you’re going to be when I’m on you.’ And I shut him down.”

Alcaeus finished with 2 points on 1-5 shooting.

Players of the Game
1st Century BC: Cicero 21 points, 10 rebounds, 8 assists
Archaic Greece: Homer 32 points, 5 rebounds