London Bracket

#1 Seed: 1st Century BC (Bye)

Coach: Augustus Caesar
(s) Horace
(s) Ovid
(s) Cicero
(s) Vergil
(s) Livy
Sallust
Lucretius
Catullus
Philodemus

The highest-scoring team in the field is also many people’s pick to win it all. Head coach Augustus Caesar has put together a team as deep and talented as any that will look to run opponents out of the gym: the only thing the lack is a pure philosopher in the post. Cicero garnered all the accolades, and rightfully so—he is among the leading scorers and rebounders in the country—but Vergil is the heart and soul of this team. If he is on his game, he makes everyone else better, and you can look for this squad in the Final Four.


#4 Seed: 5th Century AD (vs #5)

Coach: Aetius
(s) Cyril of Jerusalem
(s) St. Patrick
(s) Later Augustine
(s) Pseudo-Dionysius
(s) Jerome
Prudentius
John Cassian
Martianus Capella

It’s been a tumultuous season for the 5th Century, but they’re peaking at the right time. After a disappointing start to the season things picked up in mid-January, when locker-room cancer Pelagius was kicked off the team and Pseudo-Dionysius returned from a suspension for supposedly forged transcript papers (the case is still undecided). Since then, the high-flying Syrian has joined Augustine to form one of the most dominant tandems in the field. The team is also playing for their talented and beloved coach Aetius, whose stormy relationship with various alums has put his job in jeopardy. Whatever the outcome, you can be sure they’ll leave it all on the floor.


#5 Seed: 3rd Century BC (vs #4)

Coach: Hannibal
(s) Callimachus
(s) Theocritus
(s) Apollonius Rhodius
(s) Zeno the Stoic
(s) Epicurus
Chrysippus
Arcesilaus
Euclid
Archimedes

Although coach Hannibal’s infamously grueling practices seem to have done little to diminish their reputation as a finesse team, he deserves a lot of credit for how far he has taken this long-shot squad, which many experts felt had been irreparably damaged by a number of feuds between the players. The talent is there, and when these players click, look out.


#3 Seed: Archaic Greece (vs #6)

Coach: Periander of Corinth
(s) Hesiod
(s) Sappho
(s) Pythagoras
(s) Homer
(s) Heraclitus
Alcaeus
Solon
Theognis
Anacreon

Periander of Corinth was a surprise hire to head this talented team, but his history of personal scandal has yet to affect their play, which has been stellar. Behind Homer, the likely player of the year, and Sappho, probably the most talented woman in the tournament, this is a team that looks to score. The x-factor for this team will be the bench players, all of whom have an unfortunate tendency to disappear for long stretches of the game. If they can come together and play well, this could be an Elite Eight, if not a Final Four team.

#6 Seed: 10th-11th Centuries AD (vs #3)

Coach: William the Conqueror
(s) Simeon the New Theologian
(s) Michael Psellus
(s) Al-Farabi
(s) Anselm of Canterbury
(s) Peter Damian
Ekkehard
Hrotsvitha
Avicenna
Berengar of Tours

William the Conqueror has assembled a stockpile of disparate talents. Simeon the New Theologian can put up points in a hurry, and Anselm of Canterbury and Al-Farabi both have the ability to contribute in a major way down low, even if they do not always play well in tandem. A weak bench has not been helped by Berengar of Tours who has seen limited minutes due to a series of suspensions for violating team rules. William has been lucky his whole career, and you can never count out a team with the kind of disciplined, grind-it-out style they bring to every game.


#2 Seed: 18th Century AD (Bye)

Coach: Frederick the Great
(s) Alexander Pope
(s) Voltaire
(s) Immanuel Kant
(s) Edward Gibbon
(s) Samuel Johnson
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Jonathan Swift
David Hume
Benjamin Franklin

This team is supremely confident in their own abilities and athleticism, but this self-confidence has led to some problems in the past, when they have not taken their opponents seriously. Yet they are one of the peskiest defensive teams in the tournament, and their full-court press produces many steals. In the half court, the offense runs through Kant, one of the most efficient low-post presences in the game. If they can avoid over-confidence, this team has a good shot at the Final Four.