5th Century BC Falls to 14th AD

The 14th Century AD became the first team to punch their Final Four ticket with a convincing 85-79 upset victory over the 5th Century BC that wasn’t nearly as close as the score. The 5th Century also became the first #1 seed to bow out of the tournament.

“I’ve got to give God all the glory,” said team captain Dante Alighieri, who finished with 19 points. “The Love that moves the sun and the other stars! We’re going to Rome!”

The champions of the High Middle Ages conference got off to a blistering start behind the three point shooting of Petrarch and at one point led by as much as 21-6. Despite playing in front of a sold-out and raucous arena in Athens, the 5th Century still was unable to get closer than 5 points the rest of the way.

“I wanted to play in this tournament because I felt that it would be greater than any of the other tournaments that came before it,” said Thucydides, who finished with a team-high 11 rebounds. “But I wanted to finish on top. This is a tough loss.”

Leading the way for the 14th Century was William of Occam, who was able to take advantage of the 5th Century’s lack of a real philosopher down low. The Razor finished with 16 points and 13 rebounds.

“Bill had been in a bit of a drought for most of March,” said 14th Century shooting guard Geoffrey Chaucer. “It’s good to see his sweet shot back in April.”

The Greeks were able to keep the game in single digits for most of the second half after going into the break down 43-33, but where never able to mount a large enough run to make it a single-possession game. Players became increasingly frustrated as the game wore on, with tempers boiling over during a timeout with 5 minutes remaining, as Euripides and Aristophanes had to be separated by their teammates.

The Comedian was unapologetic after the game. “Here’s a guy [Euripides] obsessed with how supposedly good he is, obsessed with playing the position differently than Aeschylus and Sophocles, our main guys, the guys we run our offense through, and so he’s jacking up these shots when the rest of us are trying to win the game. I don’t know why coach plays him at all, let alone in a situation like that. I guess I had just taken all I could take.”

Players of the Game
14th Century AD: William of Occam, 16 points, 13 rebounds, 3 blocks
5th Century BC: Sophocles, 17 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists