This game got off to an unbelievable pace, with the two teams scoring a combined 30 points in the first five minutes, and never slowed down until the final buzzer as Archaic Greece pulled off the 84-81 upset. At times, the speed of Homer and Sappho seemed too much for Samuel Johnson and his team, yet throughout they seemed unfazed, totally confident in their ultimate victory.
This confidence failed them in the end however: “I have tried to emulate my game along the lines of Homer, yet for all my best efforts, I simply could not keep up in the closing minutes,” said Alexander Pope. The blind bard succeeded in draining a crucial floater from the lane with 30 seconds left which put Archaic Greece ahead for good.
“We tried to design our game plan along certain universal imperatives, most especially to keep Homer from penetrating into the lane,” said Immanuel Kant afterward. “Unfortunately it was always a struggle to live up to those imperatives.”
Sappho continued her strong play on the offensive end, leading the Greeks with 21 points.
“We were all surprised to see a woman prove so able,” said Johnson.
The 18th Century team was short handed for the game, as Benjamin Franklin never showed up and was found passed out in the boudoir of the wife of a team booster. He was unavailable for comment as of the writing of this article.
Nonetheless, the 18th century had a chance at victory but simply could not pull it off. “The shortened bench and the up-tempo pace of the game obviously tired us out,” explained Frederick the Great. “If we had been able to hit some of those open shots down the stretch, we could have pulled this off.”
“Well,” said Voltaire, “I guess I had better get back to my garden.”
Players of the Game
Archaic Greece: Homer - 18 ponts, 11 assists, 7 rebounds.
18th Century: Samuel Johnson – 16 points, 10 rebounds.
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